Sheik Can't Cook
by Escarghost
Summary: After a nasty blow to the head, Sheik tries to nurse Link back to health with his cooking. But will it really be much help to the hero?


_**This is just something I made kinda for a friend of mine, but mostl for myself. Based off of my headcanon that Sheik can't cook worth shit. Unfortunately, this isn't really a Shink fic, but I'm sure there's a little bit if you squint. Crappy title, I know, but bear with me. I didn't have much time to get this up. Con/crit is very much appreciated! Enjoy~!**_

 _ **Edit: I forgot to mention that this is also based off the headcanon that Link still more-or-less has the mentality of a child, since he basically just slept for seven years. That's why Sheik calls him a "child". I totally didn't realize that might be confusing OTL This is why you have someone proofread...**_

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Link's eyes fluttered open. Where was he? The last thing he remembered was being in the field, and a Wolfos jumping out at him. It swung it's giant paw down towards his head, then… nothing.

Judging by the throbbing in his head, Link had a pretty good guess as to what happened next.

That still didn't answer his question, though. _Where was he?_ It obviously was his home back in the Kokiri forest; the walls weren't made of solid oak, and he actually fit in this bed. Which was, by the way, _so_ soft. And warm. Link just wanted to sink into the mattress and never get up?

"Ah, you're awake."

The voice made the Hero jolt into a sitting position, which he regretted immediately. His head throbbed, and his muscles screamed in pain.

Link glared at source of his pain – well, _technically_ it was the Wolfos' fault, but did he didn't care just then – who stood beside the bed, chuckling slightly. He briefly wondered how long the man had been standing there, but the thought was quickly dismissed. He was used to it by now.

"Are you well?" Sheik asked.

"What do you think?" Link snapped. Sheik chuckled again.

"Just thought I'd ask." He sat on the edge of the bed, pulling the little table next to it closer. It had a bowl of water, a rag, and all sorts of medical supplies on it. "Sit still for a moment." Sheik set the roll of bandages on his lap and leaned in toward the hero to peel off those wrapped around his head.

Link winced at the feeling. "Man, that Wolfos got me pretty bad, huh?" He asked, touching the gash on his temple.

"No, actually. You fell on a rock after you went unconscious"

Link could feel his friend smirking. He groaned. He almost _died,_ and it was because of a stupid _rock?_

 _Just wait 'til Saria hears about this…_

"Hey," Link started. Sheik, who was now cleaning the wound, hummed in acknowledgement. "How'd you find me, anyways? And don't try to sell me that 'coincidence' crap again."

The Sheikah warrior looked away. "Well, Hero of Time, as your guide, it is my duty to keep you safe throughout your journey. It wouldn't do to have our only hope fall during battle, would it?" he said.

"So… you like, follow me around?"

"Yes."

"Always?"

A nod.

They were mostly silent while Sheik finished with Links wounds. He poured some of a potion onto the rag and gave the rest to Link – _It'll help the pain,_ he said when Link refused to drink it, a grimace on his face. Once he had wrapped the Hero's head up once more, Link finally asked the question he's been dying to ask.

"So… Does that mean you've seen me change 'n stuff?"

Sheik froze. He could feel the heat licking up his cheeks, so he shifted his cowl up a bit higher and cleared his throat.

"I-I try my best not to…" Sheik quickly gathered the supplies on a tray. He wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. _Children ask the most awkward questions…_ "I'll um, get you something to eat."

Link watched him shuffle out of the room, confused. What was that all about? It was just a question. He shrugged and lay backed down, dismissing it as 'Adult Stuff.'

Sheik returned a while later, a tray of food in hand. Link flashed him a large smile.

"Great! I'm starving!" He rubbed his hands together. Sheik helped him sit up and placed the tray in his lap. Rice, bread, a large glass of Lonlon milk, and a weird looking soup.

Link poked the bowl. "What's this?" he asked.

Sheik sat next to him. "It's Keese soup. I made it myself," he said. "Impa made this for me whenever I was ill." His gaze seemed to soften a bit as he thought about his aunt. Link was happy to see his uptight Sheikah friend relax a little.

It must've been delicious, if Sheik thought so fondly of it. Link couldn't wait to try it! He pulled a spoonful to his lips…

…and nearly ran to the toilet.

 _No wonder Sheik's so adamant about staying healthy; he always had to eat this stuff!_ Link thought. He looked at Sheik; the man had an expectant, almost hopeful look on his face. _Oh no._ Link couldn't tell him the truth. Not when he was giving him that look. So, he plastered the fakest smile he could on his face and told him how 'amazing' it was.

Sheik sighed in relief. "Really? That's wonderful. I wasn't sure how well I made it; I don't exactly remember the whole recipe…" He was smiling under his cowl. "It certainly doesn't do Impa's justice, though. Maybe she can make some for us when this is all over…"

Link was getting the feeling that it wasn't the recipe that was so terrible… He almost burst into laughter. Sheik, the wise, talented Sheikah warrior, the man who could seemingly do anything he wanted without even trying, couldn't cook to save his _life._ Oh man, this was gold. This sounded like one of Malon's – what did she call them? _Fanfiction_? Yeah, that's it.

When Sheik excused himself to take care of business of his own, Link couldn't have been happier. He wasn't sure how much more of this liquid death he could take. The hero let out a long sigh once the door shut.

Navi poked out from under his hat. "That bad, huh?"

Link nodded. "Yeah… I think my cheeks are broken from all that smiling," he said, rubbing them.

Navi perched on his shoulder. She patted Link's ear, smiling at him. "That was sweet of you to preserve his feelings like that." The fairy giggled when Link's face flushed bright red. Finally regaining her composure, Navi eyed the food carefully. "...I wouldn't trust that rice either, if I were you." Link nodded in agreement.

When he was sure Sheik was it the other room, Link limped as quickly as he could to the window and dumped the food outside.


End file.
